As many of you may (or may not know), I am a full time work outside the home mom. Most days, I don't mind that. I enjoy it actually. Let me also say that we are very very blessed in that our family watches the girls for us. My mom, my dad, and my mother-in-law all take turns during the week watching them.
This fall, Riley started preschool. She only goes 2 days a week for 2 and a half hours. We worked out the days so that my mom has the girls those days and will take her and pick her up.
As always, she was full of questions last night. She asked me if I was going to take her to school this morning. I had done so the first few times just because…After all, it is my BABY going to school for the first time. Anyway, I told her that no, Grandma G was going to take her. She seemed fine with that but then she asked if I was going to pick her up. Again, I said no, that Grandma G was going to because Mama was going to be at work. She whined a little about it and said she wanted me to pick her up. She dropped it right away though.
I admit, I felt a pang of that "mommy guilt". I am sure you all know what I mean. Again at bedtime she talked about who was dropping her off at school and who was picking her up. And again, she wanted me to and was a little less than happy when I said that it was Grandma G. but went to sleep without much fuss.
The girls slept a little later than usual this morning. They got up and as I was getting them dressed, I could just tell that Riley was in a mood. She definitely takes after her father in that she is not a morning person. She wanted to take her bear to school (they don't want kids to bring in that stuff as I can understand). She again wanted me to pick her up. I told her I couldn't as I had to be at work.
I came to work, but all morning I wondered how the drop off would be this morning for my mom. All morning it tugged at my mind that I was here at work and not there for my baby-girl. All morning I wondered how she would be that Mama wasn't there to drop her off and I wouldn't be there when they opened the classroom door at the end of the day.
I called my mom to see how the drop off went. I guess it went fine, but she did cry a little when she told Riley that she would be there to pick her up and not Mama. Part of me just wants to take a longer lunch and go get her. As my mom said though, then she will expect that all the time.
Like I said, it doesn't usually bother me that I am a working mom, but today it does...