Thursday, September 18, 2008

Good Ole' Mommy Guilt

As many of you may (or may not know), I am a full time work outside the home mom. Most days, I don't mind that. I enjoy it actually. Let me also say that we are very very blessed in that our family watches the girls for us. My mom, my dad, and my mother-in-law all take turns during the week watching them.


This fall, Riley started preschool. She only goes 2 days a week for 2 and a half hours. We worked out the days so that my mom has the girls those days and will take her and pick her up.
As always, she was full of questions last night. She asked me if I was going to take her to school this morning. I had done so the first few times just because…After all, it is my BABY going to school for the first time. Anyway, I told her that no, Grandma G was going to take her. She seemed fine with that but then she asked if I was going to pick her up. Again, I said no, that Grandma G was going to because Mama was going to be at work. She whined a little about it and said she wanted me to pick her up. She dropped it right away though.

I admit, I felt a pang of that "mommy guilt". I am sure you all know what I mean. Again at bedtime she talked about who was dropping her off at school and who was picking her up. And again, she wanted me to and was a little less than happy when I said that it was Grandma G. but went to sleep without much fuss.

The girls slept a little later than usual this morning. They got up and as I was getting them dressed, I could just tell that Riley was in a mood. She definitely takes after her father in that she is not a morning person. She wanted to take her bear to school (they don't want kids to bring in that stuff as I can understand). She again wanted me to pick her up. I told her I couldn't as I had to be at work.

I came to work, but all morning I wondered how the drop off would be this morning for my mom. All morning it tugged at my mind that I was here at work and not there for my baby-girl. All morning I wondered how she would be that Mama wasn't there to drop her off and I wouldn't be there when they opened the classroom door at the end of the day.

I called my mom to see how the drop off went. I guess it went fine, but she did cry a little when she told Riley that she would be there to pick her up and not Mama. Part of me just wants to take a longer lunch and go get her. As my mom said though, then she will expect that all the time.

Like I said, it doesn't usually bother me that I am a working mom, but today it does...

Stumble Upon Toolbar

16 comments:

Kelly said...

i have mommy guilt all the time. i hate that my son spends more time with my sister in law than with me. he loves going to her house and hates coming home. i guess i should be grateful that he likes where he is during the day, but it kills me that he would rather be there than home. i wrote about his separation anxiety with my SIL on my blog. and i gave you an award. come see!

Mee2 said...

I have the exact opposite problem. We have no relative near us. My children are in Pre-K, Kindergarten and 4th grade. They all see their fellow classmates being picked up by grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, etc. and they all wish they could be picked up by one of their favorite relatives too. Keep your chin up. Things will get easier.

Harmony said...

Aww...It's so sweet when they're little. I've heard when they get to be teenagers they won't want us anywhere near them. ;)

Hope she had a great day at school!

Lynne said...

(((hugs))) Don't feel guilty, you are the best! It may take some time, but she will get used to the routine and your mom is right, if you do it once, she will expect it in the future.

Ann said...

Hello!
I found you through Moms Helping Moms.
Don't you worry. ((hug))
Your daughter will be so happy to see you and tell you all about her day when you get home.
Transitions aren't usually easy. However, I know that Riley will be OK, and so will you.

Brenda Jean said...

Mom guilt will be there no matter what. I've been at home with the kids since they were born, and mom guilt strikes me all the time. You sound like a great mom, and she'll be fine:)

Momstart said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. Easy for me to say. I have mommy guild just because I have two children. I always feel like one of them isn't getting what they need

Jenn said...

You're so fortunate to have family that takes care of your kids but I still understand the mommy guilt thing. We're hard wired to be with our kids and working outside the home can really suck sometimes.

JenniBeanV said...

I know that feeling SO WELL...

Melissa said...

{{{Hugs}}}

Don't worry, mommy guilt has no boundaries. I'm with my kiddies most of the day (we homeschool), but it's just a whole other set of guilts.

Hang in there! Sounds like you're a great mom!! :)

Christy said...

Aw. I'm sorry. Mommy guilt sucks, no matter what form it takes. But you're doing what you have to do, and your kids will appreciate all your hard work in the future.

I also gave you a little blog award over on my blog.
http://www.motherhood-unscripted.com/

Alyson, the 3 P's Mama said...

Hang in there with the Mommy guilt...it really sucks and sometimes there is just no way around having it. Just remind yourself that she is okay, being safely cared for by people you know have her best interest at heart. Sadly, how she reacts, you cannot control because even at her young age, she makes her own choices.:) And even as a working Mom, you can be and, from everything I have seen here, are a good mom!

Sage and Savvy said...

it's so hard to find that balance...we all get moments of mommy guilt, but at the same time, we're only just trying to do what's best for our children and sometimes that means having moments of mommy guilt...

Janine said...

Oh, I live with the mommy guilt daily. My 2 year old has had to start creche early because my dad, who used to look after him, got very ill. He sobs every morning when I drop him off. He seems to be settling in, but the GUILT! Oh, the guilt.

Debbie said...

Hi Laura. We can be BFF's. You know why? I am addicted to Diet Coke also. Only I have to have a fresh lemon wedge with mine.

Thanks for stopping by Blog Around the World. You are all linked up now. Check in daily to see where in the world we are headed next !

Bridgette said...

hugs! I can totally relate!

 
Clicky Web Analytics